October is my birthday month. I have always looked forward to this time of year in anticipation for my birthday and because the weather is so beautiful. Goodwin’s due date was actually October 26th (my birthday is the 28th), so he and I were supposed to be birthday buddies. On October 16th, however, we learned that he had already passed away (you can read the full story here). Within hours he was delivered, and so began the difficult road to recovery.
Loss is an interesting human experience because things don’t necessarily get better with time. They change with time. While I don’t cry as frequently as in the initial weeks, the sadness and disappointment over time is still a burden. I can be happy about life as a whole, but losing someone important to me is a difficult emotion to manage. I am grateful for kind friends and family though, and certainly for the moments when I have felt peace despite heartache.
So, while this time of year brings a mix of feelings, I wanted to celebrate Goodwin’s birthday by sharing some pictures of the girls when they were 3 as a way to imagine how he might be.