Earlier this week we celebrated Goodwin’s birthday. I tried to make it special for the girls. I bought them gifts and we celebrated with cake. For the most part, it was a happy experience as we talked about our love for Baby Brother, but it was impossible for me to sing happy birthday and blow out his single candle. It’s still hard to accept that our baby would have been an active, expressive one-year-old, but instead he’s not here.
But — we tried to make it fun. All the gifts were “from Goodwin,” and the girls enjoyed that.
(Side note: Many bereaved parents come up with ways to remember their lost babies, such as planting trees. Soon after his death, we set up a perpetual fund in his name that we contribute to. The money is used for special occasions like his birthday or the girls’ education. It’s been a comforting way to feel like he continues to share his influence with us).