I would say that my primary vice is jealousy/envy. Sometimes it is really hard for me to happy about my life when I see other people achieving what I would like for myself. Especially now with FB, Pinterest, blogs, etc. I sometimes walk away feeling like I don’t measure up or I get jealous that I don’t have the fame or talents of others. When I see how much other women accomplish (at least my perception of it), it sometimes makes me feel like my life is out of control and I can’t accomplish anything meaningful.
The other night I was having some of these self-destructive thoughts, and I came across two articles from General Conference that really impressed me. The first one is Becoming Goodly Parents by L Tom Perry. In it he read a letter he wrote his mother while serving in the army in 1945. He described some of his fond memories from home life.
I started laughing to myself when he mentioned how he could always find his socks and clothes neatly folded in his drawer and how there was always sometimes wonderful to eat at dinner. Oops. I guess I need to work on the laundry and meal planning…. But his point was that his mother served him and spend meaningful time with him. It reminded me that I get distracted too easily with personal pursuits that I sometimes forget to do the little things that create an enjoyable home life.
I also read Of Regrets and Resolutions by Deiter F Uchtdorf. Extremely profound. I liked these quotes:
Why, then, do we devote so much of our time and energy to things that are so fleeting, so inconsequential, and so superficial? Do we refuse to see the folly in the pursuit of the trivial and transient?
Isn’t it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, was an accomplishment or sign of a superior life…. Is it?
This struck a chord with me because it seems like we worship the people who “do everything” and that it’s not enough to just be a mom.
In his talk he points out three resolutions we should make:
- Resolve to spend more time with those we love.
- Resolve to strive more earnestly to become the person God wants us to be.
- Resolve to find happiness, regardless of our circumstances.
Anyway, these are great talks and they reminded me of what matters most in life.
Stephanie! I, too, loved that talk by Elder Uchtdorf. It really spoke to me. Only about 5 months ago, I was at Park Day talking to mom and I told her that I realized I was addicted to busy. I am. And I know it because sometimes it interferes with what matters most. I have made an effort to work less, project less, act-on-ideas less. And then this talk just helped me stay on course. AND, I need to remember, like you, that just because I slow down does NOT mean that I’m not as great as these other women who can do it all. I think it’s all a part of the life long journey for me. (sorry, this was long)
Yeah, I hear you! I often feel like I’m barely keeping it together (barely!) It’s really hard to not compare yourself and your kids and your perceived abilities with everyone around you. I almost inevitably compare the worst of my situation with the best of anyone else, which is not fair to myself or those I compare myself with. I loved President Uchtdorf’s talk, too. He’s so good at giving a gentle reminder and reprimand, along with encouragement in the most pleasant way. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. By the way, I think you’re great (and very talented)!
Stephanie! This post made me sad all day. First of all, take a minute to step back and realize how amazing you are. You are! Second of all, my sister once told me people are like tapestries. We can only see the front side, not the back. But we need to remember, there is always a back! Everyone has their own strengths, everyone has their own struggles, everyone is beautiful….. And have I mentioned I just love you?